ErinComment

An Ode To Jennifer Check

ErinComment
An Ode To Jennifer Check

A mere 8 years later, it seems to me that Jennifer’s Body still has its very small cult fanbase that worships that movie to this day and I can't say I'm mad at it, since I'm definitely a dedicated member to that cult. Jennifer’s Body is one of the few films that encapsulates everything girls of this generation loves; blood, death, hotness, and seeing men die at the hands of hot women. We love revenge. We love seeing girls take back their power and take these inept bums we call “men” to their grave. We love justice on behalf of women. On the surface, Jennifer Check can be written off by most as your typical vain, ditzy cheerleader who’s the hottest girl in the school. But the more I watched the film, the more I realized there’s way more to Miss Check than being a flag dancer with the poppin pink MAC Lipgelee. 

The plot of this film is basically Jennifer being sacrificed to Satan by a lame ass indie band who doesn’t have the chops to make it big time on their own, so they resort to preying on girls to complete their sacrificial ritual to become famous. Little do they know Jennifer hasn’t been a virgin since junior high and isn't even a backdoor virgin, as she likes to put it. They sacrifice a non-virgin and she ends up basically becoming a demon who needs to eat people in order to sustain her good health and beauty. When you think about it, Jennifer ends up playing the role of both the victim and the predator in this movie that still executed the ultimate revenge during the short window time that she had alive, which is why I’ve always rooted for her. I honestly couldn't care less at the fact that she's murdered like 5 people and proceeded to eat them afterwards, sipping their blood in her hands like it was Campbell's soup.   

But the main reason I will forever remain on her side in the midst of it all? She dropped gems and led by great example when it came to navigating the world of men as a woman. One of my favorite things she does throughout the film is refer to boys as “morsels” and treat them like they’re basically second class citizens. You can tell she doesn’t get attached to any of the boys that she’s been with because why would she? They’re a bunch of meagre creatures with nothing to offer that she can’t give herself, besides sex I guess. But even then, she implied later on in the film that she's probably bisexual so again, she doesn't need to rely on men for much. Jennifer is one of the very few female characters I've seen on screen that when it came to sexual /romantic relationships, she was the one who possessed the casual and nonchalant nature instead of the man, and it fed my heart and soul. 

It was extremely refreshing to see a girl not only refrain from being so hung up on boys, especially in high school, but to also acknowledge her beauty and shamelessly own it. I was once the type that never gave two shits about boys until I decided to take a chance and start dating after high school, which was the worst decision I ever made. My life was so nice and peaceful, minus the adolescent depression, before I let boys into my life. I still regret the decision I made to rush myself into the act of dating because I literally have not known peace since then. I resent the male species for existing and having the nerve to bring so much unnecessary stress and trauma into my life, but thanks to Jennifer Check I'm able to take some cues and revert back to my old ways.

The fact that Jennifer was the hottest girl in the entirety of Devil’s Kettle was never lost on her, she was fully aware of how beautiful she was and had no problem using that to her advantage. Whether it was using her good looks to lure in boys for sex for her own pleasure or to eat them in the woods, she always used these boys for personal gain and never felt bad about it. She also never felt bad about her sexuality and sexuality in general, as she was always very open about it and never felt like it was something to be embarrassed or ashamed of. We love a sex positive bicon. 

There was a deleted scene scene that I wish they'd kept in the film where Needy confronts Jennifer in the locker room. She suggests that there’s a way to reverse the “curse” Jennifer’s stuck in but Jennifer protests, firmly stating her succubus state isn’t a curse.

“You’re killing people!”
And the church said amen, miss Jennifer. 

And the church said amen, miss Jennifer. 

"Boys are just placeholders, they come and they go!” 

In Jennifer’s mind, boys are basically like popsicles. She sucks them dry and gets what she wants out of them until there’s nothing left except for the useless wooden stick. She throws out that wooden stick leaving no ego unbruised, and she’s on to the next flavor. Her complete disregard for male life is the light of my life and the fire in my loins. I could take a break from reading and hearing about women and girls being killed at the hands of men for stupid shit like rejecting them and getting "revenge" on their ex for leaving their sorry asses, and watch this movie to see a hot girl casually eating boys and not giving a fuck about their humanity. I seriously have a special place in my heart for Cody Diablo, especially for creating this film. First she makes the cult classic teen comedy Juno, filled with gut-busting quips and snappy dialogue, then she does it again. Only this time it’s with a movie about a girl killing boys, like how iconic is that? I love that white woman. 

I believe Diablo created Jennifer with the concept of her being a raging misandrist in mind and it played out so well with someone like Megan portraying her, who’s been the butt of many misogynistic and sexist jokes/actions during her career. Megan is known for being a Hollywood hottie really, so many people think she’s a total dunce who only cares about looking pretty when that’s far from it. I’ve read and watched a couple of her interviews and she’s very articulate, layered, and aware of how the world sees her and how she tries to navigate through Hollywood when she’s seen as “the poor man’s Angelina Jolie” and only typecast in roles for strippers, escorts, and hot it-girls.

Megan’s portrayal of Jennifer almost felt like she wasn't even completely acting. It's like she was playing a parody of sorts of herself, the pretty popular girl that men drool over. But instead of her being subject to misogyny and sexism, she simply shut the boys up and ate them instead. The perfect way to literally act out her revenge. Jennifer Check was actually a pretty smart girl and had no problem publicly ridiculing boys, missing no opportunity to call the patriarchy out on their bullshit. Those callouts probably fell deaf on the ears of many since she frequently did things like referring to Rocky Horror Picture Show as a boxing movie and suggesting Aquamarine has sex through her nonexistent blowhole. But that's neither here nor there. 

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"Don't be so JV Needy, they’re just boys. Morsels. We have all the power, don’t you know that?"

Madame Check knew it was fact and not opinion, that she was simply not of this earth. She had no problem casually stating how extraordinary she was during a phone convo with her bestie.

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And it wasn’t just because of the fact that she was practically immortal, there were moments before she became a demon where you could tell she had the utmost confidence in herself. Miss Check genuinely believed that she was innately above men and better than them in every way possible, whether she was immortal or not. She was aware of how gender dynamics and our patriarchal society worked and did everything in her power to not succumb to it. Unfortunately she was also a victim to it in hindsight, like her life being sacrificed as a result of the greed and selfishness of men in exchange for fame. Or Jennifer feeling pressured to stay pretty and socially relevant at all times and feeling completely useless and powerless if she wasn’t.

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Her predicament was really a double edged sword that went both ways (pun intended I guess), so I still see her as being successful villain more than a victim because of how she handled herself after being sacrificed and being possessed. She did what she had to do to survive and keep herself in tact and I honestly respect that, she was a prime example of self-preservation. That's especially important when you're a woman and conditioned to believe that you should be loving and nurturing to everyone, even to those who don't deserve it. I bet you those boys wouldn't think twice about her or her feelings when they tried to make a move on her so they could fuck then leave her high and dry. Jennifer was a wise one and she knew to get these boys before she got got.

What I really admire about Jennifer’s character is that she simply isn’t afraid of men in any way and it's partially because she’s so confident in herself that there’s nothing they could do or say to make her feel any differently about herself. Because their opinion of her literally does not matter in the slightest bit, they're way beyond being irrelevant. It’s the big and little things she does that shows how confident she is as a woman. She isn’t afraid to make them feel bad about themselves and break their balls when they’re trying to put on some macho man tough guy act. When she made fun of Craig for thinking he was cute enough to even SPEAK to Jennifer? More girls need to be like that. Break down every man's ego, chip it off bit by bit with each interaction until there's nothing left. She isn’t afraid to be straightforward and look them dead in the eye when communicating. The little things that usually make girls nervous when it comes to boys, doesn’t faze Jennifer in the slightest. Men don’t intimidate or scare her. On the contraire, she does everything she can to make them fear her and think twice about even talking to her. I actually think while she was in her succubus state, the sense of fear and desperation she detected in her prey made them even more desirable to her. The more scared they were, the better they tasted.

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That's another thing that draws me to her character, that she does whatever she needs to do if it will benefit her, even if that means killing the poor, innocent morsels. Her selfishness is on another level, a level that women need to start aspiring to in my brutally honest opinion. I don’t know about you but I’m tired of practicing compassion and vulnerability with men who aren’t interested in returning the favor. I’ve found that in order to prevent it from happening altogether, it’s best to just be mean to boys. Not only is it fun as hell, but you're also protecting yourself in the process. Issa win-win. There was a period where I was committed to not stooping to their level and being just as indifferent towards men’s emotions but I can’t afford to be good to them any more. It's like what am I goin to gain from it? They don’t deserve it. But miss Jennifer Check caught on to the game and got the memo really early on, which makes her pretty damn wise and a role model in my eyes. 

Jennifer’s Body should be on some universal list of required watching for all girls that are brought into this world from now on, in my opinion. This film really serves as one of my favorite unconventional coming-of-age films that girls should watch closely and follow. I try to take a lesson learned from each movie I watch and this one was filled with ones that went overlooked because the whole concept of the film was so ridiculous to the general public, so I guess most people didn't think it was necessary to look into it any further. So to recap my scientific findings after doing my thorough research on this movie:

  1. Show Boys No MercyWhat fun is there in being nice and respectful to boys? Literally where is the fun. You gotta channel your inner Jennifer Check, your inner Regina George and go Mean Girls™️ on these niggas. Showing boys interest and signs of weakness? Nah. Don't do that, I'm not even saying that to be funny. You tell a boy you like him, especially too soon, and he will run to the hills with that shit and start playing with your emotions. Kill the act of opening up first and being vulnerable in hopes that he'll return it, cause he won't. 

  2. Put Yourself First - Don't eeever put a man above what you want and need, no matter how big or little it is. If you have to step on that nigga in order to elevate yourself then by all means, do it. It sounds harsh, but then I think about the violently patriarchal society we live in and how terrifyingly often men kill and abuse women physically/mentally/emotionally, and have the power to prevent us from moving forward in society and then? I don't feel so bad. Self-preservation is literally nothing to play with and it's the most important skill to have if you want to get what you need and dream of out of this life. 
  3. Men are Naturally Beneath YouGod is a woman. A Black woman. She birthed all of you bitches and niggas. Women are the superior species of the human race and it is not up for debate. You'd have to be blind, deaf, and living under a rock to not see the shift that's happening as the Divine Feminine is coming back to turn you fuckboys upside down and choke you with karma. I would sit here and list all the ways in which women are better than men but this post would be a novel so I'll keep it short and cute: we're cuter, smarter, and way more powerful than you will ever realize. The lot of us are literally angels on earth, really.

Boys ain't shit. 💖

P.S. - Jennifer and Needy were totally lesbigay for each other.