All hail the successor to be the queen of dirty Southern female rap! I briefly mentioned in my iconic Unfriendly Black Hottie™ post how much I stan for Megan Thee Stallion. Yes, I stan and I'm waiting for her to blow up and be the next Trina or some shit because she deserves. Her debut album Make It Hot is my SHIT and I listen to it every single day, it’s like a form of therapy for me at this point, integral for my self-esteem. It’s nothing like listening to female rap (only by Black women, the rest of you can suck it) to get your bad bitch levels up to par.
Her lyrics are gems and she's a wordplay master with a flow that'll make you feel filthy but like the good kind of filthy that makes you wanna pimp slap a bitch and let her know you run this shit now. Many people don't know this but Megan's music is actually an audible bible with relevant life advice and I'm here to show you exactly what words you should be living by.
Don't Violate or You'll Get Violated
"I ain't neva ran from a hoe, but I neva let a bitch get a stain on my clothes" - Last Week In H Tx
"Bitch do it look like I fight? Hoe just be cool when I got on this ice / This shit is Gucci, this shit is too tight / I only sweat when I go exercise / You cannot touch me so don't even try" - Cocky AF
Don't sweat these hoes!! I haven’t fought since the 5th/6th grade. Partly cause I’m actually smart and know how to pick and choose my battles, but also because I don’t fuck with people like that in general. Any bitch that think she got beef with me, it’s imaginary. I don’t know none of y’all and I don’t think about none of y’all. It’s just me in my head. Like Auntie Maxine said, if you come for me I’m coming for you though. It’s that simple! Y'all think this is a pussy thing to say but I really am too cute to be fighting bitches all willy nilly out here. I only fight these hoes with purpose only when absolutely necessary, you feel me?
Don't Argue With These Hoes
"I don't go back and forth, I don't play them games
I let the bitch play herself, that's masturbate" - Make It Hot (Intro)
I have a new rule now that you have to pay me to argue with you. Arguments are stupid and never ends in anything beneficial for me, besides me making people look stupid as fuck. It’s a waste of my time and time is money and we can’t be wasting money now can we? Spend your time wisely and don’t waste it on gutter rat ass bitches with nothing to lose. Never get caught up with a bitch that got nothin to lose. No free promo and let these hoes look stupid on their own. Going back and forth is for the birds.
Send Pics for What?
"Ion wanna call, Ion wanna text / Tryna set me up, put me on the net / I do no pics, ion shoot no vids / And you ain't gone see my name in no GM" - Naturally
Okaayyy! Queen of skrtin these snake niggas! I said time and time again that nudes are stupid. Like I’d only ever take them for myself. It never ends well and these niggas don't deserve proof of your goddess-like body that they'll have forever, even long after you two have parted ways. Boys are snakes and aren't to be trusted. Be a grown man and come over if you really wanna see me, point blank period. Not up for debate.
Being Bougie Is The Only Way To Live
"Haters never see me, I ain't hanging where it's local / Drink my Henny outta china, Black and bougie like I'm Oprah" - Last Week In H Tx
We don't fuck with locals!! Bad bitches that actually have something going for them know better. Carry yourself like the star you know you are and the rest will follow. I hate my locals, I don't really fuck with anyone from this city cause everybody's corny as hell and now I don't feel so bad about it. The friends I do have here are dope people only. I’m too good for the rest of these people!
I like to take notes from Beyonce too and be exclusive as fuck with who I spend time with, who I associate with, who I talk to, and where I go. I don’t go just anywhere with anybody looking like anything. Every time I step out the house it’s gonna be an event and I’m gonna be with the right people looking cute.
Stay Low and Mind Your Business
"I be doin me hangin lowkey / They gone do the most, Ima keep it G / Ion say a word but I'm gettin seen / Everything I do, I do it naturally" - Naturally
"Don't give convo to those I don't know, niggas try to play me close to get my info / Only time I disclose is when I disrobe" - Last Week In H Tx
"Bitch I mind my business, I ain't in it, hoe don't come for me" - Geekin'
It's the best way to live, truly. A lot of you bitches and niggas love saying “stay low and build” but y’all be deep down in the sewers, in the gutters wit it. And y’all really don’t be building. Relevancy in the grave, don’t nobody know you. You have no work to show anyone during this whole time you’ve been supposibly building cause you used it as an excuse to be low and corny to make people think you was doing some shit.
Getting mixed up in other people’s shit is tempting because let’s admit it, gossip is fun. It’s entertaining when it’s not you in the mess. But do your best to look the other way like that Will Smith meme. Like I said, don’t play into these hoes’ bullshit and give them the time of day, don’t let nobody egg you on and drag you down to their level in the gutter.
Get What You Want from These Niggas And Go
"Dinner wit the plug, I ain't hungry I'm finessing" - Mustard & Mayonnaise
"And I don't wanna talk I put my phone on DND / I'm wit my other nigga tryna creep like TLC / And when he tryna start I push that button E N D / And only time I see him is when I'm tryna get some D" - Naturally
Men use women in the worst ways that they can and they always have been, so don’t feel bad about doing the same thing to them. Like ever. It’s what they deserve, you come first. Get your weed, your dick, your free meal, your money, and go. Fuck his feelings, get him before he gets you cause this shit is really a game tbh.
It's Okay To Be Broke
"Last week I had to make $100 stretch, every mothafuckin night I was eatin cheese eggs" - Last Week in H TX
We all millennials which means we have felt the sting of this whack ass economy. We love calling other people broke as an insult when the truth is we lowkey all broke and that's okay, just don't stay there forever. That's not cute. I'm broke as fuck right now but like.. who isn't. None of y'all niggas is really ballin' including me at the end of the day. So we all broke. *Black Auntie voice* It's not where ya from, it's where ya goin
A Lot of These Hoes Is Basic
"I'm not sayin I'm not humble I just feel like I'm the best / I'm like who's my competition, it's like all y'all the same bitch / And y'all be beefin, I'm a vegan / Stupid bitches make me itch" - Last Week in H Tx
Even when they claim not to be, you can just see it like a big halo around them. You can clearly see it's their destiny in life. Basic hoes with basic dreams with basic looks doing basic moves. I got a basic hoe radar built into my soul and it’s never been wrong, it goes off several times a day when I’m on twitter. And a lot of y'all be absolutely focused on the wrong shit too, that's why you not as poppin as you wish you were. Don’t be scared, don’t be intimidated by nobody cause a lot of people ain’t what they claim to be so remember that next time you start to doubt yourself from comparisons.
Dealing With Messy Niggas <<<
"I knew right when we start talkin we might not talk again / You got way too many problems, way too many friends / You got way too many issues, way too many moods / I got way too much experience with these type of dudes / I'm gone fuck around drive you crazy" - Crazy
Niggas don’t like women with baggage but men with baggage are actually 100x worse than women. They get abusive and don’t know how to handle themselves and their emotions and it is not worth getting involved with, I promise you. When you spot a messy nigga, you better make a U-turn and mind your business. You been there and done that, so don't you dare do it again. He ain’t got shit to offer you that you can't find from another nigga without the added stress and drama. We livin' a stress-free life, ladies.
We Endorse Revenge In THIS House
“I get my revenge when I drop all my pictures, I’m pretty like art bitch I look like a fixture / I get my revenge when I fuck on yo nigga” - Stalli Freestyle
I hate when people say, “Don’t seek revenge. Your success is your best revenge.” It’s passive and corny to me. I’m like porque no los dos? Queen of duality showing y’all that you can get revenge on these bitches and niggas simply by being your successful bad ass self AND by being vindictive. Get with the winning team hoe. Ain't nobody stopping you from doing what you want to.
DON'T SPEAK ON ME
"You don't like me, get in line hoe / I be on yo mind doe / Bitch you know I'm poppin' you just hatin' cause I'm fine hoe / Bitch eat a dick / Don't like me then stay off my shit / You need to hold ya tongue / Unless you gone lick on my clit" - Cocky AF
Truly. Honestly. I ain't gotta explain it and I don't feel like it but... I am who I am. And bitches gone hate. Because I am who I am. Will that ever be my problem? No. Will I care? No. Are they putting money in my bank account? No. And they sure as hell ain't cuter, smarter, bigger, or more influential than me. So what am I going to gain from giving a fuck about haters? Nothing. And you would be wasting your energy and time letting me or anyone else know how much you don't like me because as I just mentioned, I don't give a fuck. Keep your hating ass ways to yourself and let in stew in that M&M-built body of yours cause you literally do not matter. So there you have it. Buy Make It Hot, Stalli Freestyle, and Cocky AF on iTunes!