Ladies ladies ladies...
This is the first product I've tried from Glossier that I genuinely just.. don't like. And I've literally tried every product from the line. Not saying I love every product equally but, I have no space for this duo in my life. I don't even want to try to love it. I don't see a future with us together, I'm sorry to say.
You guys know that I'm a Glossier Rep. They chose me to be a rep because they saw how much of a stan I am. I want to start this off by reminding y'all that I don't lie about shit that I don't like just to stay in a brand's good graces, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this review. Honest feedback and critiques are needed for improvement. I would literally be so useless as a rep, blogger, and consumer if I only talked about the good and not the bad. While I don't usually blog about ineffective products and give them reviews, I know you guys trust me and some of you were looking forward to my thoughts anyway so I'm like yah yah lemme do it.
I was particularly excited for Glossier to release some body care products. It's getting cold and ya girl is getting crusty, and what's more convenient than getting new body care products from one of your favorite brands? The girls at Glossier busted out two new products: an oil body wash and a body cream. And my body was literally so ready. My scaly, ashy body.
Being the good and diligent rep that I am, I promoted the product on social media before I even received it. I do that with every launch cause that's what we're supposed to do, so if you bought this because of me hyping it up as soon as it came out and you hate it, I am genuinely sorry. We can't be wasting money in this economy. I know, I feel you.
Getting this in the mail was like the highlight of my week, literally. As soon as it came in the mail I ripped that bitch open and took a shower with the Oil Body Wash and just as quickly as I hopped in the shower, I became confused and kind of scared. 1.) My black ass uses washcloths and washcloths only to wash up. The formula of this wash is frothy and it lathers a bit, but not like soap or a body wash, so it's still on the thinner side. Using a wash cloth would soak all the product right up and be really pointless. Instead, I used a muslin cloth and that worked fine. 2.) It's suggested that you just use this body wash with your hands but I cannot do that because I'm Black and my mama would beat my ass if she found out I was washing myself with my bare hands like I'm Tarzan in the jungle. I'm almost 21.
Now ironically enough, I still didn't feel completely clean after using this wash. I still don't know if it's because I'm used to a soapy lather or because I used my hands once but I didn't feel all the way clean. It's ironic because since it's an oil cleanser, it's good at attracting the dirt and oils out of your skin and you will definitely see it slinking down the drain as you rinse off cause giiirl the amount of dead skin I had sitting on me was wild. Bitch disCOSTIN. I literally saw the dirt come off of me and I still didn't feel clean. Idk maybe I'm crazy or something, that lather just gives me the validation I need tew be quite honest.
The scent also caught me off guard. Because of the orange blossom neroli blend, I was expecting it to smell like.. some fuckin oranges or something. Instead, it smelled like a clean plant baby. Yes yes, that's the description I'll go with. A clean plant baby. Like just imagine a newborn baby made out of stems, leaves, and flowers that just got out the shower. Smells earthy but not in a musky or overpowering way and it smells clean but not in a strong, chemical, bleach kind of way or anything. It's earthy and fresh. The scent was inspired by french baby care products and honestly if I smelled a french baby and it smelled like this, I would probably scrunch my nose and drop kick it. I'm joking, I would never scrunch my nose. Wrinkles.
In all seriousness though, I don't love the scent but I don't hate it either? I feel like it might could be one of those things that just has to grow on me. Because I don't see myself repurchasing this in the future and I don't like wasting products, I'll continue to use it. I noticed after using this that it did soften up my skin enough for me to properly exfoliate all the dead skin off of my body, so I'll be integrating it into my routine on days when I want to exfoliate or when my skin just feels drier than normal. If you do have this or you decide to still wanna try this after this review but you like a soapy lather like me, you could always be extra and use a soap first and then use this to soften you replenish your skin after cleansing.
I also saw a fellow rep say that she uses this after cleansing with her normal soap but she doesn't rinse the oil wash off, she uses it as a regular body oil so you could try that too. I know I will.
When I dried off my skin wasn't noticeably soft but it wasn't rough either. It was just... there. After drying off I applied the Daily Perfecting Cream which ended up being a lackluster experience. Putting this cream on was equivalent to when you start talking to a guy you really like and you tell your friends about him then he makes you look like boo boo the fool. I have dry skin so I need something intense and heavy duty, without the residue. I love my body butters but I was still hoping this cream would give the same moisturizing effect with faster absorption. Instead, I got pretty much no moisture and very fine sparkles that may as well not even exist. The light-reflecting aspect would've been great for summer but I'm gonna have my skin covered completely from the neck down like the insecure, conservative bitch I am, so that's pointless for me. Had they released this earlier in the summer, I probably would have found it more useful.
If y'all woulda just released some liquid body versions of Haloscope for the summer instead, y'all would've been a hit and it would've been way more effective for getting a glowy body. I'm telling you Glossier, I got ideas. Y'all need to hire me for real, *Lady Leshurr voice* I got da juice.
I noticed when I was applying the cream though, that it was piling on itself and wasn't rubbing in completely so my eyes rolled into the back of my head, as if I needed one more thing to be disappointed about. The cream absorbed fast and didn't leave any residue, but it also didn't give me the moisture I needed. My skin felt the same as it when I first dried off out of the shower, very bleh and meh. The cream claims to tighten, hydrate, enhance, and increase the skin's elasticity but I literally did not experience any of that. Never experienced that emotion.
So all in all, issa no from me. I literally give the two of them combined 2 out of 5 stars. These aren't must-have products for me, it's nothing new, I don't find them useful, I just unfortunately don't have a lot of good things to say about these products. The girls did not have the range. Surprisingly enough I ended up preferring the body wash over the night cream but either way, I could still definitely live without the both of them. For $35 for the duo I expected way more. Tis a sad day.
I bought these thinking they were gonna be my holy grail body care items and I wouldn't have to use anything else ever again but.. I was wrong. Wow I was wrong. That's a first. Me being wrong. I'm shaking. Let me go before I start crying.